Let’s face it; most of us don’t talk to our parents half as much as we should. When you need advice or need to confide in someone you go to your closest friends. It’s normal to want to rely on parents less as you get older so you can feel more independent, even if you have a great relationship with them.
All the same, it’s important to talk with your parents because they can offer a lot of insight based on the experience they had when they were your age. This may seem intimidating, especially when it’s a difficult subject.
What you can do to make it easier:
- Take time out to talk about little things every day. Chatting with your parents about how well your hockey team did at practice or something funny the cat did can make conversation with your parents easier in the future. This also helps create a stronger bond with your parents, which means they will be more open to what you have to say rather than thinking that you only talk to them when you want or need something.
- Plan out what it is you want to say. Sometimes when you get emotional what you want to say doesn’t come out the right way or you forget what needs to be said most. Planning out your speech beforehand, or even writing it down, can help you keep your message clear.
- Remember that parents have their own agenda. Generally this just involves protecting you, but know that they will have their own responses and that you cannot control them.
What can you do to get your parent to REALLY listen?
Make it clear what you want to ask your parents when you talk to them. If you just need someone to listen, tell them that. If you want advice, ask for it. Whatever you do, make sure your expectations are clear because if they’re not, you might get a response that you didn’t want. (Like saying, “I just need you to listen,” or “What do you suggest I do about this?”)
If you and your parent have a tendency to start a conversation but end with an argument ask them, “I wish we didn’t argue so much.” You might be surprised by what they have to say. Both of you might be the better for it.
If you want to try family counselling in Oxford County you can go to:
- Woodstock and Area Community Health Centre
- Oxford Elgin Child Youth Centre
- Woodstock General Hospital
Alternatively you should check with your school’s guidance counsellor. They may be able to help you or provide the best places for you to go.
